I remember being asked a lot why did I move to Switzerland? Why did I move to Zurich, away from home, family friends and what I know. It’s interesting you get asked that a lot in the first year you are abroad, and my answer usually changed, was offhand or generic. Something new? To learn more? Because I wanted a change? I think the more I answered this question the more I began to ask myself why?
I’m quite a deep thinker, I overanalyse a lot of situations and decisions I make but when I look back, packing up my life to move and change what I knew was a fast and easy decision. I didn’t take much time to ask myself why, over think certain situations or start to look at the what ifs.
I’ve been abroad now for almost a year and a half, I’ve been home once and gone through many phases of missing home, people, familiarity, and my “old” life. It comes in waves and moments; weeks and months go by without much thought and looking back. Then you wake up one day and it hits you like a riptide; it can feel suffocating and can overwhelm anything else going on for a certain moment of time.
But I think as I sit here and reflect, I’m beginning to feel content, happy and possibly more at home. There is a famous phrase that home is just a feeling, I’d disagree with this but there is a small part of truth. It’s easy to be away and to feel you are missing out, look back on where you could be or what might look “easier”. But harder to do is to change your energy and focus, take stock of where you are, what is right Infront of you and make the most of those opportunities and moments. It’s easy to say you haven’t met people, you haven’t found your feet or your rhythm, to feel out of routine and structure. But then what is harder, but more rewarding is to create change, to look for chances and times to move forward. To put yourself out there and to begin to make the small steps of change.
I do believe it doesn’t happen overnight, as humans we aren’t best programmed to always be positive and look for the good, it’s easier to be negative, to give up and accept a bad situation. It takes strength, character, and confidence to make changes. To look in the mirror and decide you want more and will work for it.
Honestly, I can’t give you one reason I moved abroad, I can give you a good few reasons why I’m still here but I could have given you just as many as to why I have felt like leaving, why I’ve had moments of tears and pain and questioning what I’m doing.
If you read my last article, you would know I’ve spoken about strength of character and resiliance before. I don’t want to keep banging the same drum, but I do feel proud of myself and where I have gotten too. Change takes time to adapt, it can take a while to feel yourself somewhere new and be the best version of yourself. To move forward, look ahead and not back. I’m nowhere near the end of the process but to feel on the road feels pretty good. Keep your head down, keep going and you'll be surprised where you can end up.